Almost everyone goes through it at some point… you’re about to get up and play with a band, or maybe you’re just going to play a song for your family – and it happens.
Your palms start sweating, you get nervous, your heart starts racing and you would swear that this thing in your hands is called a guitar – yet it feels about as comfortable as a boat oar right now!
So how do you overcome what is, for many people, a fear literally worse than death (in studies, people have actually said they are more afraid of public speaking than death – and playing guitar has to be worse than speaking, right?)
Turns out, we have an expert among us. One of your fellow BGU’ers (Elio on the forum) works with undergraduate students at CSUN (California State University, Northridge if I’m not mistaken) and graduate students at Pepperdine on, among other things, how to give good presentations and deal with their stagefright.
Elio was kind enough to share some fantastic tips with me that I’ve edited slightly below based on my experience with music as opposed to speaking (though they aren’t as different as you might think!)
- Make sure you are physically comfortable beforehand. Have a light snack to level your blood sugar, take a bathroom break beforehand, stay hydrated. If you are singing or speaking, don’t drink a lot of carbonated beverages. A lot of us like to have an adult beverage to calm the nerves… and while one little drink may help calm you down, resist the urge to have any more. And if you can, walk around a couple of minutes before you go up to get the blood flowing.
- Remember to breathe. A common stress response is to begin taking short, shallow breaths, which only exacerbates the sense of breathlessness and anxiety. Remember to take regular, full breaths. I’ve actually gotten light headed after a solo because I’ve held my breath and didn’t realize it!
- Even if you are nervous, try not to behave as though you are. Looking/acting visibly nervous will end up reinforcing and escalating the feeling, and ultimately the audience will sense it. In other words, “fake it til you make it.”
- Accept that there will be anxiety. If your definition of success is that you will not be at all anxious, that is an unreasonable expectation. The key is to manage the anxiety and channel the energy into what you are passionate about sharing with the audience. Make that the focus of your attention rather than nervousness.
- Assess your physical environment in advance. Surprises are always bad and stress-inducing, so the objective is to minimize or eliminate surprises. Try to know what amp you’ll use, which side of the stage you’ll be on, how you’ll get to the stage, what you’ll need to do in order to tune up. All of those little things can help reduce the possibility of surprises.
- When you are nervous, it’s typical to assume the worst about what the audience is thinking. It’s like thinking you are getting the silent treatment from a significant other. You tend to assume the worst until you actually talk about it, you find they had a bad day at work and it isn’t about you, and then everyone feels better. But trying to ignore the audience almost always makes it much worse. Rather than ignoring them, keep in mind that the audience wants you to like you, so give them a smile or a friendly wave or some simple gesture that they can easily reciprocate. That little bit of positive feedback to get you going will go a long way.
- Make eye contact with the audience immediately, and re-establish it periodically throughout in order to maintain an interpersonal connection to them. Try to avoid staring at your fretboard or sheet music as a crutch. A good technique is to pick out a few friendly faces and then periodically cycle through, making eye contact with each one individually.
- Smile and acknowledge the applause after a solo. Not just for your ego, but to continue the interpersonal interaction with the audience. The more you and the audience exchange eye contact, comments, applause, quips, or whatever, the less anxiety you will feel. Acknowledging the applause also makes the experience more fun and enjoyable, which is the ultimate objective.
- Anxiety will cause you to speed things up and go faster than you normally would. Take a deep breath and, if you are counting the band in, imagine the song in your mind as you would like to hear it – NOT as you intend to play it. Count the song in at that tempo, as if you were just counting along with the song on a radio.
- Interact with those on the stage with you. Human interaction with friendly people always helps dissipate anxiety and nervousness, especially when those people want to you to succeed and have fun. It also sends a positive vibe to the audience, who will be less likely to sense your nervousness. Try making eye contact, facing other band members during their solos, trading a lick or two, etc.
- When things get really bad, what you are doing is not working so you need to change something, anything. Sometimes, just taking a couple of steps, slowing down a bit, looking at someone, or changing position will be enough. Often, just a small physical change is needed to change the dynamics. If you stop playing and reset yourself, the band will carry on just fine without you for a bar or two, even if it’s in the middle of your solo. Don’t be shy about taking your time.
- Never apologize to your audience or the band ahead of time (unless maybe you fall off the stage and into someone’s lap). I have a lot of students who actually start off a presentation by apologizing. Most of the time, they sound perfectly fine, but by apologizing they are drawing more attention to their anxiety and reinforcing their lack of self-confidence.
- Don’t be so hard on yourself… accept who you are, your strengths, limitations, and what you can do in front of an audience. If you are there, it is because your level of performance is up for the task. Get used to seeing and hearing yourself in terms of your voice, playing style, and mannerisms. This usually means watching yourself on video and not cringing. If you watch and cringe, it doesn’t necessarily mean that you aren’t good enough, it means you haven’t accepted yourself. If others think that you are good enough, you just need to accept what you look and sound like. Watch objectively and look for the positive things that you like, and try to dispassionately find things that you can improve without being too hard on yourself.
- Set reasonable objectives based on your ability. If you’re a beginner trying to play “Pride And Joy” you’re pretty much setting yourself up to fail. Your audience will enjoy it more, and you’ll enjoy it more if you play something that is within your grasp and play it well instead of reaching too far.
- Some people find they do better playing a “completely scripted” solo, and some people find they prefer improvising something or maybe just having a roadmap in mind, but not the particular notes and phrases. It doesn’t matter which type of person you are, it matters that you find out. So try approaching your solos each way and maybe video the experience so you can look back on them and see which one you prefer.
In a nutshell, be as healthy and comfortable as you can be, and remember that the audience wants to like you (that was the big tip for me, personally.) If you can keep the songs within your abilities as a player and learn to accept that you will be nervous but it will be OK, you’ll probably have a great time.
And remember to soak up the applause when it is over. It’s a great feeling and you really do want to enjoy it for a moment.
Thanks again to Elio for this list and if you have any other suggestions or comments leave them below for us.
49 replies to "Getting Over Your Stage Fright…"
Some good tips here. I might add
Visualization is key. Before you start *(even days or weeks b4) picture yourself playing a great set. Experience what that feels like and lock it in your mind. This is what you are working towards.
Know your material cold, frontwards and backwards. There is no substitute for this. Keep a tablet, index card or someone in the band or front row that will give you the fist line, when u forget. There are often times distractions and you need to pick up where you left off.
If you screw up, laugh and have fun with it. Sometimes a good joke will diminish the problem.
Never stop, and never show discomfort, imagine you are teaching the audience something and you need to make them feel comfortable with what you are doing.
Do not focus for too long on any individual in the audience. Repeated glances are fine but a prolonged stare might make them uncomfortable. If you don’t like making eye contact, look just over the top of their heads.
As a Trainer, consultant, and public speaker for the last 25 years or so, I can tell you that the butterflies never really go away, but sooner or later they learn to fly in formation.
Thank you gentlemen, this is really good solid advice for all of us. There have been numerous occasions when I have been told by seasoned and professional singers that they have stage fright prior to a performance.
Hi Griff, I’ve been playing at openmic/jams about twice a week for a long time now and one thing that I’ve discovered is a tendency to be very critical of myself.A couple of times I have left the stage, been congratulated by some very well known professional musicians, muttered my dissatisfaction of my performance, only to have it pointed out to me that it might not have been note perfect of what I wanted to play, but that I was the only person there who was aware of it. Don’t beat yourself up, if they’re clapping acknowledge the applause and enjoy it.
Hi Griff & Elio,
Elio your Tips are spot on, I have been able to give speeches and address the boards & represent major international cies as a Company Director in a variety of countries.. But on the Musical side, I was fortunate enough to be a Drummer in a few Pop Bands during the 60’s as well as sing a few songs with the bands playing the drums as well in front of fairly large audiences/dancers etc.. I was then in my teens to early 20’s.. 1st Stage fright only was auditioning as a Drummer with a well known band with a permanent Gig.. had a great Kit Ludwig which helped & me. I watched the Band a few times with their stand in drummers and learn’t all their songs.. On the day, they liked my beat, the way I played and how I adapted to complex songs and some Jazz. Passed and stayed with them for a few years. Then on it was easy. BUT now learning the electric guitar since 2013 and blues with BGU, so much to learn and memorise.. I find I get stage fright in front of my Wife or family & chickened out at my 70th party.. I am sure that because I am a perfectionist, once I master the guitar and some great songs and solos to an intermediate level, I will just step up to the plate and play just like the air I breath..it may take a bit more time, but a Rock n Roll band are asking me to play with them as a jam of a few songs in 12 Bar blues which one day I will take the challenge.. I think playing the drums with great bands in the 60’s enabled me to command my presence which flowed through my world until now. Griff is the best guitar teacher for distant learning and with his input I am gaining more and more confidence every day of practice and learning all his courses. Now have 6 guitars and Marshall Amps etc that will get me there..Thanks heaps Griff & Elio for this great lesson..
Michael-Sydney-Australia- 29 April 2017.
These are all great tips. I have done public speaking since I was in the 10th grade, and recently helped out a church with an event they had. It does come back to you, and yea you DO get anxious. But do your best to relax and enjoy it, visualize as was also one of the tips above, for me my hands sweat so bad, they almost slip off the neck.
Many years ago, when I felt the “Willies” coming on from that ‘on-stage’, I’d scan the crowd… make eye contact with with a few heads in the first front rows… with a big smile on my face… I’d chuckle & say “Hey, Y’all… howz it goin’ for ya?… Guess what? I can’t believe it! I’ve already had a couple requests… but I decided to stay anyway!”
Timing is every thing. but try it… put some pauses between your words… You want the audience to be engaged and waiting for that subtle punch line “I decided to stay!”
Breaks the ice every time!
Jeff Lear Bass & Guitar
The Centurions
I loved the article! Great tips! When I first started playing, I was afraid to play in front of my wife let alone on stage. Now after five years playing in a group, I’ve calmed down a lot, although solo performances are still scary. I agree that when I know the material well without music and a stand, I do better. I think by just performing a lot things get better too. I agree so much that the audience wants to like you, so we need to do our best to give them a good show. We need to enjoy ourselves too. Thanks so much for the great article.
I have a very irrational level of fear playing publicly. I have done open mic maybe 20 times, primarily with intent of staring down that fear. I am so intent on playing so perfectly that I actually screw up the very thing I’m trying to do so well. When playing, I never seem to remember that the audience is actually a gift. Furthermore, they seem to reflect back that what I put out there…if I give them weird vibes, I get weird vibes back. If I show disappointment in myself, while they are always nice, they are disappointed too because I didn’t make best use of our time together. I don’t believe I’ll ever be without fear, but good techniques (like those shared here) and practice are bound to make it easier…at least for me. Thanks – CJ
Sorry Mike. Different Keith…..
I’ve been playing in bands off and on for more than forty years and, though I don’t often get topophobia [stage fright] ,even now, if it’s an important gig for whatever reason [like family or friends being there or, worse still a scout for an even more important gig], I can still get the jitters. Man, that was a long sentence – sorry!
One comforting thought is that there has never been a documented case of topophobia causing death! Another time honored trick is to imagine the audience sitting there in its collective underwear. I’m not sure it works that well, but you can give it a try. 🙂 Blessings!
Though I have ample public speaking experience and like it, I utterly froze when I tried to play background piano at a dinner setting. I like playing without sheet music but took a pack along in case I needed it, but then used it. Big mistake. I got so nervous I couldn’t quickly remember which was treble and bass clefs and I got so embarrassed my fingers developed sweat! One diner left, quipping, “Bye, Chopin,” which sarcastic remark I had to agree with, but gladly, because Chopin is my favorite.
All of this was the worst piano playing I’ve ever done. Otherwise, I enjoy it and play OK.
These performance hints are very useful. I’ve done a few Open Mikes on guitar and voice, and they’d be better if I reviewed such a list before I started. Thanks, Griff.
All great tips. Have employed some of them over the years. What is it about carbonated drinks that makes them a bad choice? Curious.
The unexpected need to belch. …yes, I learned that one the hard way.
The first time I played a guitar solo in public, it was a piece I had to memorize so I practiced it until I thought I had it down. When I performed it the whole thing fell apart after the first two bars. I was given the finger across the throat gesture from the band leader. I should have over-practiced that piece to overcome the unexpected stage fright that happened. Now I have no problem with public speaking but I can’t play for an audience. Thank you, Stephen Stearns, for the analogy with the five year olds and the long armed hug.
Thanks Griff and Elio, I did my first and only performance a few years ago and I made many of the mistakes that you point out in your blog. I’m starting to feel like I’m going to give it another try soon and these tips will be very helpful.
Thanks for this. Very useful tips. I am putting together a set for my 60th birthday party in September. Four friends all pretty good musicians but we’ve never played together before, live in different parts of the UK and will have less than a week to rehearse – so this advice is timely. Phew! no pressure.
just learn the song structure, not every note of every part of some particular version
thanks again Griff. the more advice and help the better.
Great advice for us all.
Elio:please put a book online and I’ll buy it.
Appreciate the free advice!
Blessings to you!
Thank you for the nice comment. I actually do have a book for sale on Amazon but you probably won’t find it particularly helpful unless you happen to be a health professional who needs to learn about computers. 😎
Elio,
Yes, I am a health professional and need to learn about computers.
What is the title of your book on Amazon?
Thank you in advance for your reply!
Very good Griff. Whilst working in finance we were regularly called upon to give presentational talks. I have never heard of any actor not having “butterflies” before going onto a stage or into a studio environment. What I did learn and appreciate were some of the cliche’s said to lighten the anxiety ” they all pull on their underpants the same way we do, one leg at a time”; was one such comment. I think I was advised to realise the audience(s) want you to do well. They haven’t come along to hear a bad speech or a bad rendition of, perhaps classic pieces of music. The best examples for master of stage presence are comedians. They cannot fail , given they are there to make people laugh after all. Laughter is a leveller anyway and eases any tension in the performer. I have heard of fairly famous actors / singers being literally sick before going on stage. This would appear to ‘settle’ their systems to the task in hand – to entertain. Elio’s piece was covering all th bases, as it were. Thank you Griff for sharing it with us.
Great tips! It’s always easier when you know the material. Also, like mentioned earlier, if all else fails, skip a few bars, smile and come back in when it sounds right. And if you’re the lead singer also, this is a good time to connect with your audience, point to someone you know and say something that you have memorized just for this moment.
If you are in a bar or club band, the audience is not there to see you. Their there to have a good time. Dance, Shoot pool, Drink and Visit with each other. It really doesn’t matter how good you are as long as you can play the music. If you hit a wrong note, keep going, remember that note is already gone so just continue on. I
played in those for places for years. Most of us play clubs, parties and for family and friends.
People actually get stage fright? Imagine that!
Griff,
Great post, and thank you for building great curriculum and sharing the blues gospel. For your readers benefit the adrenaline your brain produces – works the same way when excited or having stage fright. It’s the best natural feeling the world, as long as you channel it correctly. Thank you and keep up the good work.
Awesome advice. At a recent open Mic in a wonderful pub atmosphere I heard someone in the audience shout to a friend on stage “Play something you know.” I’ll never forget that.
I got scared to death just reading this. LOL of course!
I have been singing to audiences for for over fifty years now and the day I don’t get stage fright is going to be the day I quit. Excellent blog! Thanks for sharing!
It helps me to think of my audience as all five-year-olds who want to hear a good story and to imagine my arms getting long enough to circle the entire audience and gently pull them to my feet on the little storytime rug where I smile at them with my eyes through my heart and know that they love me the energy of love goes out to them and back to me up-and-down and back up and down and back and around to the left and right and back to me keep in mind that there for-year-old wants to love you and if you believe that they will
These seem good advice. I used to be a university lecturer and have lectured two hundred people with no problem. When it comes to playing the guitar, I can play in front of my wife and that is about it.
I was at a friends house (he makes his living from gigs and lessons) and I was playing something. I was making mistakes. Then he mentioned something else which distracted me and my playing improved. He pointed out that before I hadn’t been relaxing and I’d been trying to put the guitar in a stranglehold. When I was distracted and not worrying about my playing, it improved.
The other thing he kept telling me was to *slow it down*. As I said, Elio has given some good advice.
Cliff.
Thanks, Griff. Very helpful, even for performers who have a lot of confidence & experience. I’m a retired college teacher & I confronted this every time I walked into a classroom on the 1st day of the term. Another tip I got from a minister once was to chant a little easy-to-remember mantra: I can do this, I want to do this, I WILL DO THIS. Repeat–with conviction–several times to yourself before going on stage.
Good pointers. I’ve discovered the stage fright gets much less severe the older I get. Don’t know if that really helps……I had a person tell me, a number of years ago, to not concern myself about getting up in front of an audience because 95% of them are just relieved its you and not them up there. I repeat this every time I approach a stage since, and it’s really helped…….
Great comment Keith!
And great tips from Elio. As someone who’s spoken in front of audiences hundreds of times, I agree. And I agree it’s more frightening, for me anyway, to play guitar in front of an audience the first time, but it gets easier. Especially with preparation. I’ll remember your comment Keith.
You’re not Keith Richards are you
This coming July 1st, Guitars for Veterans, which I’m part of, will be performing a benefit to help raise money for Guitars for Veterans which provides music therapy for disabled veterans, through learning to play guitar. The blog today will hopefully help me prepare for the performance in July. Anyone who will be in Rockford, Illinois July 1 will be welcome to come to the Nordloff Center and watch.😬
Cheers for the advice 😎🎶
I suffered with viscous stage freight for years…if I may add… know the material inside and out before you get on stage. If you can not work without a lead sheet you are unprepared and that will amplify your stage fright….even if you are dealing with your first open mic night you should know three tunes well enough to stand in front of the stage and give 100%…..stand up, no music stand, no lyrics….standing helps to dissipate some of the excess energy that will be blowing through you….the reward for tackling stage fright is huge…good luck
When planning your set list start with an easy song. Don’t plan to wow the audience with a difficult finger picking piece when you could be strumming some chords and singing an easy song. The audience doesn’t care how difficult it is as long as it sounds nice and your in tune. As you get warmed up you’ll hopefully get more comfortable with the environment and slowly it should become easier. Playing solo (as in playing alone) is significantly more difficult so if there is the possibility of play with another person do that. Good luck!
Very good. I am quite competent at public speaking, and I can hear myself giving several of these pointers to others on the subject. Why hadn’t it occurred to me to apply them to performance?
I have a gig coming up in May, and I am not even going to mention my insecurities about certain aspects of my ability or songs that are new to me. So if you are in King of Prussia, PA on May 6th…
It’s going to be great.
Thanks Griff ,Elio I will heed every inch of advice when I perform my open mic jam in May.( Yep, you guessed it,my first one. ☺
Elio
Great synopsis. You spoke to the pertinent points. I should have spoken with you at Arrowhead. Maybe I would have feared it slightly less than death.. Thanks for sharing your helpful insight.
Ken
Griff,
One thing I use to do to help prepare for a performance was to practice in a setting similar to the place I would be play. Then I would pretend I was actually preforming and not just practicing. I would practice everything from getting on stage and setting up, to leaving the stage. Then when I performed I pretended I was just practicing in front of people. It helped me to be able to continue if I made a mistake, which most people didn’t know I made a mistake.
Very good. Very good points. The audience are there to be entertained, they want you to succeed. Don’t stand in the dark. Give them a show. Don’t go overboard though. Cheers russ c.
Thx mucho, good advice for a newbie like me
There is the old trick about seeing your audience as appearing naked. Perhaps at Woodstock that was not so hard. Ok.
I think the thing to take away here is the statement about the audience wanting to like you. Everybody wants to be entertained and if they paid admission they certainly do. Another thing to remember is that most everyone at a concert imagines what it like to be a star, to be on stage. Chances are there are musician want to be in the audience and will try to follow your chords or solos as you play them. I am one of those people who have dreamed of the chance since I was a kid. Go for it!
Griff…Thank you for the great advice.I am working hard to be able to solo one day.I do not have confidence at this point to play for anyone.I am going over lessons,my muscle memory is not there yet.I have tried Lesson 22 Solo and Iam not ready.I will go back to lesson 15 and start over.Gene
Great stuff Elio
I always suffered badly from stage fright. At home and at practice I could play a song perfectly every time, but on stage it always seemed to fall apart.
The more often I stood in front of an audience, the easier it became to play, but always the stage fright.
I will keep the pointers above in mind and hopefully I can ratchet the stage fright right dowon