Random Tomfoolery

Boysie

Just for fun
What's a triscut? Anyway here's another joke.


It’s the World Cup Final, and a man makes his way to his seat right next to the pitch. He sits down, noticing that the seat next to him is empty. He leans over and asks his neighbour if someone will be sitting there. “No,” says the neighbour. “The seat is empty.”

“This is incredible,” said the man. “Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the final and not use it?”

The neighbour says, “Well actually the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first World Cup Final we haven’t been to together since we got married.”

“Oh, I’m so sorry to hear that. That’s terrible … But couldn’t you find someone else, a friend, relative or even a neighbour to take her seat?”

The man shakes his head. “No,” he says. “They’re all at the funeral.”

Three guys stranded on a desert island find a magic lantern containing a genie who grants them each one wish. The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home. The second guy wishes the same. The third guy says: “I’m lonely. I wish my friends were back here.”
 

tommytubetone

Great Lakes
Who says that texting isn't any good.? And this auto-correct stuff...what's wrong with that?


FIRST TEXT MESSAGE

Hi, Morris. This is Saul, next door. I've been riddled with guilt for a few months and have been trying to get the courage to tell you face-to-face. When you're not around, I've been sharing your wife, day and night, probably much more than you. I haven't been getting it at home recently. I know that's no excuse. The temptation was just too great. I can't live with the guilt & hope you'll accept my sincere apology and forgive me.

Please suggest a fee for usage and I'll pay you.

- Saul

Feeling enraged and betrayed, Morris grabbed his gun, went next door, and shot Saul dead. He returned home, shot his wife, poured himself a stiff drink, and sat on the sofa.

Morris then looked at his phone and discovered a second text message from Saul.

SECOND TEXT MESSAGE:

Hi, Morris. Saul here again. Sorry about the typo in my last text. I assume you figured it out and noticed that the darn Spell-Check had changed "wi-fi" to "wife." Technology, huh? It'll be the death of us.
 
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