Sticking a Toe in the Hamlin Waters

This is it, my formal introduction... Bio... Video Story... Question of "Can You Relate?".... Quest for Motivation... Cry for Help... all rolled into one excessively long post.

Some things I like about my guitar playing:
I can be persistent, and given enough time I've managed to figure out how to play some fairly difficult stuff fairly well
I have a pretty good feel for music in general
I've been able to grasp the basic principles of music theory

Some things I don't like, would like to improve:
In a live setting, I'm a shell of the player you see in my videos
I seem to forget well over half the things I've worked on, once I stop working on them
I don't like how long I seem to need to spend learning something new
I never seem to achieve reaching the point of being mistake-free, or at least nearly so
I lack pick control when strumming full chords (a small, but currently very annoying issue)
I don't have a clear vision of what I should focus my practice time on
I don't have enough songs committed to memory
My over-active affliction of performance anxiety

I initially expected that once I learned a specific solo, I'd have all those licks at my beck and call at any time.
Did not like at all discovering this is absolutely not true.


Here's how I got where I am:
Early In 2010, at the age of 57 and nearly 30 years after buying my first guitar, I decided I would finally dust it off and make a determined effort to learn to play. After noodling around aimlessly for a few months, I decide to pick a song and commit to learning something note for note all the way through. The song I chose was as a cover of "Strange Things" by New York blues player John Earl Walker. In May of 2011, 8 or 9 months later (yes... 8-9 MONTHS!), I was finally ready to record this video:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gQEKm8jDnVk

I was pleased with the result, but 8 months is a ridiculously long time to spend on one song, agreed? I went on to focus intently on learning and recording a handful of classic rock songs with attempts at note for note solos, this one being my last and I feel best accomplishment of this phase, which I recorded in October of the same year:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gVzIFTzOpEw

I was using a TonePort during this period, anybody remember those? (And yes, back then, I played everything with that much distortion - which I think is one reason I've been slow to developed a good touch). Anyway, during this time I also became involved with a guitar site called Vanderbilly (deceased). This was a lesson site with a lot of interactive activity, and I participated in a few collaborative jams. Turns out, given enough time, and with enough focused cramming, I can manage something I feel is pretty decent and get it on tape.

"So, what's the problem, Herm?", you might be asking? Well, take me out of my private home environment, and put me in mixed company with a guitar in hand, and I am a completely different person... shy, reserve, intimidated. I forget half of what I know, and I'm suddenly physically only half as good at playing the half I remember. I'm basically useless in a "just show up and jam" situation. I'd do OK if given a list of 8-10 songs and a few weeks to prepare, but I lack the courage to play off the cuff live, and just won't do it. Even with time to practice, I haven't typically enjoyed playing with others. I want to enjoy it, but stress and anxiety get in the way.

To try to over come this crippling performance anxiety issue, I started participating in a series of guitar workshops, where we'd practice a set of songs for 8 weeks, then have a little performance for family and friends. The first one is linked below. It's 23 minutes long, but song beginnings are time-linked in the description (click "show more"), so you can quickly hit a couple spots to get the gist. I thought my best moments were the opening Walking Blues instrumental, Sunshine of Your Love, and Red House:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ghF10CTAvIw

Now, you can't tell in the video, but I was an absolute nervous wreck the entire time. There are minor mistakes throughout, and I reacted internally to each one as though it was disaster. There were times when my legs were uncontrollably shaking (I did disguise all this angst well tho, didn't I?). When it was finally over, I *swore* I would never, ever put myself in that situation ever again. However, in viewing the replay, I found my playing to be not nearly as horrendous as the perceptions I had during the performance. So I signed up for 6 more workshops. The other guys kept telling me I was doing fine, and that eventually I'd get used to playing to people and start to enjoy it. Never happened. Each performance was just as stressful as the last. And then, THIS happened....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i0e0xkjP0l8

That was the end of my workshop participation!

After this I spent a couple years distracted with a new hobby... collecting vintage organs. Most were free or dirt cheap, which is how I go sucked in. All in all, I think I drug 14 or 15 of them home. At the height of the frenzy, I had five of them in the house at one time. It was my first exposure to keyboards. Eventually, I grew weary of hauling 250-300 pound organs home and the space they occupied, and got out of the organ hobby, opting instead for digital piano. I kept only one organ, a well used 1960 Hammond A100, which is not currently working.

Well, we've just about caught up to the present. I've got the bug to get back into guitar in a serious way, but so far, mostly just talk, not much playing. My current routine is 30 minutes of finger picking the same half dozen songs, while laying on the sofa watching TV. At least I have taken steps to get myself a better setup. I have a Boss GT8 Multi-effects unit, and messed with it a lot. I found it complex, cumbersome, and time consuming, but at the same time limiting. So I bought a pedal board to mount all the bargain pedals I've bought over the years but never used, and thought I'd try that route:
PedalBoard-02.jpg

The G3 and Trio are new additions. The G3 inexpensively adds delay, chorus, reverb to my "rig", and gives me access to a multitude of other effects, should the need arise (not likely). Haven't messed with the Trio much at all as yet. And I've only scratched the surface as far as figuring out how to stack the OD pedals, I only know that I want to try that.

As far as playing goes (once I get started in earnest), I can't settle on the best path. Sometimes I think I should just focus on learning very basic, easy to remember versions of a bunch of popular classic rock tunes, so that I could better survive playing out with others. Other times I think what I might need is a structured lesson plan to improve my technique and confidence. A while ago, I signed up for lessons under Paul Gilbert, through the Artist Works website. No, not blues, but come on, he's famous! I do like his playing, and his enthusiasm is infectious. Went well for about 6 lessons, then came a lesson teaching an advanced technique I had a very difficult time with (hitting all 6 strings, while muting all but one). Next thing you know, I'm not logging on to ArtistWorks any more. My year of lessons expired mostly unused.

So I next landed here, to see if perhaps I can ride another wave of motivation to the next level.

I told you this would be long. I usually gain a reputation for long posts wherever I go. I'm trying to cut back, but it's been a hard habit to break. I probably should have gone into writing for a career.
 
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Elio

Student Of The Blues
This is it, my formal introduction... Bio... Video Story... Question of "Can You Relate?".... Quest for Motivation... Cry for Help... all rolled into one excessively long post.

Some things I like about my guitar playing:
I can be persistent, and given enough time I've managed to figure out how to play some fairly difficult stuff fairly well
I have a pretty good feel for music in general
I've been able to grasp the basic principles of music theory

Some things I don't like, would like to improve:
In a live setting, I'm a shell of the player you see in my videos
I seem forget well over half the things I've worked on, once I stop working on them
I don't like how long I seem to need to spend learning something new
I never seem to achieve reaching the point of being mistake-free, or at least nearly so
I lack pick control when strumming full chords (a small, but currently very annoying issue)
I don't have a clear vision of what I should focus my practice time on
I don't have enough songs committed to memory
My over-active affliction of performance anxiety

I initially expected that once I learned a specific solo, I'd have all those licks at my beck and call at any time.
Did not like at all discovering this is absolutely not true.


Here's how I got where I am:
Early In 2010, at the age of 57 and nearly 30 years after buying my first guitar, I decided I would finally dust it off and make a determined effort to learn to play. After noodling around aimlessly for a few months, I decide to pick a song and commit to learning something note for note all the way through. The song I chose was as a cover of "Strange Things" by New York blues player John Earl Walker. In May of 2011, 8 or 9 months later (yes... 8-9 MONTHS!), I was finally ready to record this video:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gQEKm8jDnVk

I was pleased with the result, but 8 months is a ridiculously long time to spend on one song, agreed? I went on to focus intently on learning and recording a handful of classic rock songs with attempts at note for note solos, this one being my last and I feel best accomplishment of this phase, which I recorded in October of the same year:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gVzIFTzOpEw

I was using a TonePort during this period, anybody remember those? (And yes, back then, I played everything with that much distortion - which I think is one reason I've been slow to developed a good touch). Anyway, during this time I also became involved with a guitar site called Vanderbilly (deceased). This was a lesson site with a lot of interactive activity, and I participated in a few collaborative jams. Turns out, given enough time, and with enough focused cramming, I can manage something I feel is pretty decent and get it on tape.

"So, what's the problem, Herm?", you might be asking? Well, take me out of my private home environment, and put me in mixed company with a guitar in hand, and I am a completely different person... shy, reserve, intimidated. I forget half of what I know, and I'm suddenly physically only half as good at playing the half I remember. I'm basically useless in a "just show up and jam" situation. I'd do OK if given a list of 8-10 songs and a few weeks to prepare, but I lack the courage to play off the cuff live, and just won't do it. Even with time to practice, I haven't typically enjoyed playing with others. I want to enjoy it, but stress and anxiety get in the way.

To try to over come this crippling performance anxiety issue, I started participating in a series of guitar workshops, where we'd practice a set of songs for 8 weeks, then have a little performance for family and friends. The first one is linked below. It's 23 minutes long, but song beginnings are time-linked in the description (click "show more"), so you can quickly hit a couple spots to get the gist. I thought my best moments were the opening Walking Blues instrumental, Sunshine of Your Love, and Red House:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ghF10CTAvIw

Now, you can't tell in the video, but I was an absolute nervous wreck the entire time. There are minor mistakes throughout, and I reacted internally to each one as though it was disaster. There were times when my legs were uncontrollably shaking (I did disguise all this angst well tho, didn't I?). When it was finally over, I *swore* I would never, ever put myself in that situation ever again. However, in viewing the replay, I found my playing to be not nearly as horrendous as the perceptions I had during the performance. So I signed up for 6 more workshops. The other guys kept telling me I was doing fine, and that eventually I'd get used to playing to people and start to enjoy it. Never happened. Each performance was just as stressful as the last. And then, THIS happened....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i0e0xkjP0l8

That was the end of my workshop participation!

After this I spent a couple years distracted with a new hobby... collecting vintage organs. Most were free or dirt cheap, which is how I go sucked in. All in all, I think I drug 14 or 15 of them home. At the height of the frenzy, I had five of them in the house at one time. It was my first exposure to keyboards. Eventually, I grew weary of hauling 250-300 pound organs home and the space they occupied, and got out of the organ hobby, opting instead for digital piano. I kept only one organ, a well used 1960 Hammond A100, which is not currently working.

Well, we've just about caught up to the present. I've got the bug to get back into guitar in a serious way, but so far, mostly just talk, not much playing. My current routine is 30 minutes of finger picking the same half dozen songs, while laying on the sofa watching TV. At least I have taken steps to get myself a better setup. I have a Boss GT8 Multi-effects unit, and messed with it a lot. I found it complex, cumbersome, and time consuming, but at the same time limiting. So I bought a pedal board to mount all the bargain pedals I've bought over the years but never used, and thought I'd try that route:
View attachment 6228

The G3 and Trio are new additions. The G3 inexpensively adds delay, chorus, reverb to my "rig", and gives me access to a multitude of other effects, should the need arise (not likely). Haven't messed with the Trio much at all as yet. And I've only scratched the surface as far as figuring out how to stack the OD pedals, I only know that I want to try that.

As far as playing goes (once I get started in earnest), I can't settle on the best path. Sometimes I think I should just focus on learning very basic, easy to remember versions of a bunch of popular classic rock tunes, so that I could better survive playing out with others. Other times I think what I might need is a structured lesson plan to improve my technique and confidence. A while ago, I signed up for lessons under Paul Gilbert, through the Artist Works website. No, not blues, but come on, he's famous! I do like his playing, and his enthusiasm is infectious. Went well for about 6 lessons, then came a lesson teaching an advanced technique I had a very difficult time with (hitting all 6 strings, while muting all but one). Next thing you know, I'm not logging on to ArtistWorks any more. My year of lessons expired mostly unused.

So I next landed here, to see if perhaps I can ride another wave of motivation to the next level.

I told you this would be long. I usually gain a reputation for long posts wherever I go. I'm trying to cut back, but it's been a hard habit to break. I probably should have gone into writing for a career.

Welcome to the forum, Herman. Nice video! Your story fits right in here with the rest of us. Depending on where you live, there are some regional groups of BGU folks that get together for informal jams. They are inevitably made of guys at a variety of differnent levels, but they are a great way to ease yourself into playing with others. If you can swing Griff's BGU Live event in the spring, that is an even better way to do it over a 3-4 day period in a more structure atmosphere. If it's of any help, the link below is for a blog post that I co-wrote with Griff on dealing with performance anxiety and that you might find helpful. I based it on my own experience after a BGU Live event.

https://bluesguitarunleashed.com/blog/getting-over-your-stage-fright/
 

Many Moons

Biking+Blues=Bliss
one excessively long post.
Have you been a master of the understatement for long??:ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO:

Some things I don't like, would like to improve:
Don't we all!!
In a live setting, I'm a shell of the player you see in my videos
Aren't we all??
I seem to forget well over half the things I've worked on, once I stop working on them
Only half??? That's called success!!!!:ROFLMAO:
I don't like how long I seem to need to spend learning something new
You will after you've finished BGU2.
I never seem to achieve reaching the point of being mistake-free, or at least nearly so
You never will, so don't try.
I lack pick control when strumming full chords (a small, but currently very annoying issue)
I'm sure your listeners pick up on that all the time.:ROFLMAO: Too small to worry about. Do you think Pete Townsend hit all the right strings all the time?
I don't have a clear vision of what I should focus my practice time on
That's why you've purchased BGU.(y)
I don't have enough songs committed to memory
How many is enough????:whistle:
My over-active affliction of performance anxiety
After you've attended a few BGU live's, this won't be a problem.

You are beating yourself up over nothing Herman!!! You are an accomplished guitarist!! You will never stop learning. Get into some of Griff's solo building courses and relax a little, and start to enjoy your playing instead of examining it under a microscope. HAVE FUN!!!!

I look forward to hearing you in the Virtual Jam Room.

Enjoy the ride.
 

MikeS

Student Of The Blues
Staff member
FWIW, my two cents on how to overcome your being half as good on stage as you are at home:
- Get twice as good as you need to be at home????? JK
- Take those note-for-note solos and try playing them over jam tracks in different feels. That way you aren't listening for the cues in the original song.
- Most of us start with learning solos note-for-note. The problem that I find is that works fine at home, but on stage when little things can change (tempo, someone walking past in your line of sight, a drummer throwing a trill where you weren't expecting it...) it will mess you up. It's easier to recover when you are building your solo on the fly from little licks that you already know well. (yes this takes time)
- Buckle down and learn your blues box patterns
- Listen to Blues music ALL the time (once you know your patterns and listen to lots of blues, you will hear licks and your fingers will know where to go)
- Learning solos note-for-note
- work on one or two (or even 3) of Griff's courses
- Cut yourself some slack. None of us got good or comfortable on stage without lots of onstage practice time.

You may want to checkout what can be accomplished if you stick with Griff.
In this area of the forum you will find videos of BGU Live events. At BGU Live we get people from first time on stage to players that gig regularly. What we all have in common is that most if not all of us couldn't do what you will see before we started taking Griff's courses.
 
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Have you been a master of the understatement for long??:ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO:

Pretty much... folks at work dread getting interoffice correspondence from me. :)


"In a live setting, I'm a shell of the player you see in my videos"
>>>Aren't we all??

I suspect my falloff is more dramatic than most.


"I lack pick control when strumming full chords (a small, but currently very annoying issue)"
>>>I'm sure your listeners pick up on that all the time.:ROFLMAO: Too small to worry about. Do you think Pete Townsend hit all the right strings all the time?

Different issue... my problem is the pick continuously turns and/or disappears my fingers. I can't keep the pointy end facing the strings. Only an issue when continuously strumming rhythm chords... very annoying.


"I don't have enough songs committed to memory"
>>>How many is enough????:whistle:
25 seems like a good number :)
Actually, I don't think this would be that difficult to do at this stage. I just need to buckle down and make the effort. It's in the master plan.


"My over-active affliction of performance anxiety"
>>>After you've attended a few BGU live's, this won't be a problem.
I attended a series of 7 workshops, all of which led up to a small performance. Could not get to a point where I enjoyed playing live.


>>>You are beating yourself up over nothing Herman!!! You are an accomplished guitarist!! You will never stop earning. Get into some of Griff's solo building courses and relax a little, and start to enjoy your playing nstead of examining it under a microscope. HAVE FUN!!!!

I hear what your saying. I'm no different from everyone else learning to play, and the issues I complain about are common. My whining is more of an analytical thing, really. The anxiety eats me up, and in my mind, it's a combination of all those listed issues that feeds the anxiety. Perhaps the logic is not rational, but the anxiety is real.

>>>I look forward to hearing you in the Virtual Jam Room.
I will probably end up in there sooner or later... that's an activity I'm more comfortable with.

>>>Enjoy the ride.
Thanks. I appreciate the encouragement, and for reminding me I'm not alone.
 
Welcome to the forum, Herman. Nice video! Your story fits right in here with the rest of us. Depending on where you live, there are some regional groups of BGU folks that get together for informal jams. They are inevitably made of guys at a variety of differnent levels, but they are a great way to ease yourself into playing with others. If you can swing Griff's BGU Live event in the spring, that is an even better way to do it over a 3-4 day period in a more structure atmosphere. If it's of any help, the link below is for a blog post that I co-wrote with Griff on dealing with performance anxiety and that you might find helpful. I based it on my own experience after a BGU Live event.

https://bluesguitarunleashed.com/blog/getting-over-your-stage-fright/

Thanks Elio. I do think I can reduce my anxiety by improving on some of the issues I listed above. First I have to get comfortable just playing with one or two friends. I have made some inroads recently, but still have work to do. Learning more songs will go a long way toward that, I believe. I've read the post you suggested on dealing with anxiety, and have tried several of those techniques already. But there are some new ideas in there I can try in future encounters.
 
FWIW, my two cents on how to overcome your being half as good on stage as you are at home:
- Get twice as good as you need to be at home????? JK
LOL. Great idea... if only it were that simple!

>>>- Take those note-for-note solos and try playing them over jam tracks in different feels. That way you aren't listening for the cues in the original song.

I will give this a try. It's sure true about the cues I guess, cause none of the solo licks come to mind unless the appropriate song is playing.


>>>- Most of us start with learning solos note-for-note. The problem that I find is that works fine at home, but on stage when little things can change (tempo, someone walking past in your line of sight, a drummer throwing a trill where you weren't expecting it...) it will mess you up. It's easier to recover when you are building your solo on the fly from little licks that you already know well. (yes this takes time)

Getting lost in a solo.... Been there, done that! I'm hoping Griff's courses will allow me to become more independent, and not rely so much on memorizing solos. Even my own solos are ones I've worked out and memorized, when it was for a performance.


>>>- Buckle down and learn your blues box patterns

Not doing too bad here, but where I'm lacking is in having a good repertoire of utility licks I can use at will.


>>>- Listen to Blues music ALL the time (once you know your patterns and listen to lots of blues, you will hear licks and your fingers will know where to go)
I am all over this one already.


>>>- Learning solos note-for-note

Learned a few... takes me ages, partially because I think I have typically chosen material that is above my current level.


>>>- work on one or two (or even 3) of Griff's courses

In the master plan to do this


>>>- Cut yourself some slack. None of us got good or comfortable on stage without lots of onstage practice time.

I'll try.

>>>You may want to checkout what can be accomplished if you stick with Griff.
In this area of the forum you will find videos of BGU Live events. At BGU Live we get people from first time on stage to players that gig regularly. What we all have in common is that most if not all of us couldn't do what you will see before we started taking Griff's courses.[/QUOTE]

I have been checking out some of the videos. So many brave players!
 

luckylarry

Student Of The Blues
Eblues I can really relate to most of your post. Lesson:we are not alone. It appears that you and I have this inability (at times) to step back and see the big picture. We get caught up in the little things, blow them out of proportion and forget to step back and recognize the whole not the part. Memorizing and remembering are everyone's challenge. Two things it gets better...but you will forget any song you don't play regularly. Even the Rolling Stones have to be reminded how to play there old songs the original way as they move on to new songs and albums (do they still call them albums?). BUT, who says it has to be exactly the same way. I will leave this for a longer discussion.

Here is the pressure I am under. I have stage anxiety (even laying at home with friends). On Tuesday evening I am going to a rehearsal with a group of people I don't know. To play jazz which is definitely not the Blues. Was doing great learning. Asked questions to the members on the forum and they along with Griff set me on the learning path. Then got seriously sick. Just got out of the hospital a couple hours ago. I am a little weak so I won't start practice til tomorrow.

Moral of the story is we all have the same issues but they issue for one may not be for another. Collectively we all have to pass each hurdle and will do so our own time depending on many factors. My opinion for myself is to ask why I am doing this (learning guitar). It is fun, is enjoyable and challenging. I do this every time I feel frustrated or defeated or angry with my progress. Here is the thing, you p,lay better than I as do many others. I am sure I play better than some. In the end it doesn't matter. All that matters is that I enjoy the ride (have to remind myself of this often).

Don't know if this helps helps but your post sure reminded me of many issues I am dealing with.
 
Eblues I can really relate to most of your post. Lesson:we are not alone. It appears that you and I have this inability (at times) to step back and see the big picture. We get caught up in the little things, blow them out of proportion and forget to step back and recognize the whole not the part. Memorizing and remembering are everyone's challenge. Two things it gets better...but you will forget any song you don't play regularly. Even the Rolling Stones have to be reminded how to play there old songs the original way as they move on to new songs and albums (do they still call them albums?). BUT, who says it has to be exactly the same way. I will leave this for a longer discussion.

Here is the pressure I am under. I have stage anxiety (even laying at home with friends). On Tuesday evening I am going to a rehearsal with a group of people I don't know. To play jazz which is definitely not the Blues. Was doing great learning. Asked questions to the members on the forum and they along with Griff set me on the learning path. Then got seriously sick. Just got out of the hospital a couple hours ago. I am a little weak so I won't start practice til tomorrow.

Moral of the story is we all have the same issues but they issue for one may not be for another. Collectively we all have to pass each hurdle and will do so our own time depending on many factors. My opinion for myself is to ask why I am doing this (learning guitar). It is fun, is enjoyable and challenging. I do this every time I feel frustrated or defeated or angry with my progress. Here is the thing, you p,lay better than I as do many others. I am sure I play better than some. In the end it doesn't matter. All that matters is that I enjoy the ride (have to remind myself of this often).

Don't know if this helps helps but your post sure reminded me of many issues I am dealing with.

Hi Larry, thanks for posting. They say misery loves company.

I have fallen in and out of a mindset several times over the past few years, in which I feel like folks don't appreciate the level of anxiety I suffer when dealing with playing live, or even just getting out there and mingling with other players. I reckon that's not reality. It's odd, actually, that I have this overstated issue. It doesn't fit my general personality. But I suppose I've internalized and focused on it to such a degree that now it's like a bad habit in that it's hard to shake.

My current state of mind is, yes I could suck it up and get involved with more jam scenarios. I did those 7 workshop performances and a few other things, and survived. But it's supposed to be fun, and I have yet to experience the fun factor. If it's not fun, why keep doing it? So I'm working out what I think I need to do to let myself have fun in these settings. That's basically what the "things I suck at" list is all about.

It may well be the case, might even be likely, that no matter how many listed issues I eliminate, I'll still suffer performance anxiety. If that's case, maybe I just need to get my hands on some good prescription drugs! :D I've read that Barbara Streisand and many other top shelf performers have suffered overwhelming performance anxiety.... so at least I'm in good company.

Sorry to learn you had a bout of serious illness, hopefully you are on the road to full recovery. Best of luck with your Jazz venture!
 

sloslunas

NM Blues
Get yourself to a BGU Live event. I gonorrhea it, that will melt much of your anxiety away. There are not enough words on the page to tell you what I have been through, and that really doesn't matter. What does matter is that playing with others on stage has changed my life. From what I read, you have played with others and still deal with extreme anxiety. That is a very hard thing to deal with. I wish you the best brother. My last words are "Never Give up"...

Steve
 

luckylarry

Student Of The Blues
Eblues it is odd we share the same anxiety issues. While you have tried certain things and found them "not fun" but it is not personality issues. I am a very outgoing guy. Lots of confidence in most of my areas of life. Joke, speak in front of crowds, (I practiced law for a few years and was the courtroom in in our firm. You would think playing guitar with others would be a piece of cake;. as you know that is not always the case.

I think I understand that you have tried things (as I am still doing) and are not having fun. Would it help you to stop playing for others and just lay and learn for your enjoyment and not to entertain others. there is nothing to say you have to perform for others. If you enjoy the experience (except the anxiety issues) then cut out the not fun and just do the fun. Of course I have no idea if this is a good idea for you but I thought I would throw this out.

One more idea. Please feel free to message me privately any time and we can cry on each others shoulder. I don't cry in my beer cause it tastes salty. LOL
 
Eblues it is odd we share the same anxiety issues. While you have tried certain things and found them "not fun" but it is not personality issues. I am a very outgoing guy. Lots of confidence in most of my areas of life. Joke, speak in front of crowds, (I practiced law for a few years and was the courtroom in in our firm. You would think playing guitar with others would be a piece of cake;. as you know that is not always the case.

I think I understand that you have tried things (as I am still doing) and are not having fun. Would it help you to stop playing for others and just lay and learn for your enjoyment and not to entertain others. there is nothing to say you have to perform for others. If you enjoy the experience (except the anxiety issues) then cut out the not fun and just do the fun. Of course I have no idea if this is a good idea for you but I thought I would throw this out.

One more idea. Please feel free to message me privately any time and we can cry on each others shoulder. I don't cry in my beer cause it tastes salty. LOL

That's exactly why I stopped doing the workshop thing. Why keep doing it if I'm not having fun? I did progress to where the rehearsals were fun (even they were stressful at first), but couldn't make any headway with the actual performances. Perhaps I gave up too soon, but I just didn't see where I was making any progress.

Oddly enough, when I reflect back on those 7 workshop performances, the first is my favorite in terms of the actual performance, even though that was by far the most stressful performance situation I've ever been in, was the largest audience (maybe 20 people), and I was the only guitarist in a 3 piece band. Go figure. :confused:

I know I put too much pressure on myself, and the focus is on my mistakes. I do that to myself, everyone I've been involved with has been nothing but encouraging. I'm going with the advice of MikeS... "get twice as good as I need to be at home". ;)
 
Get yourself to a BGU Live event. I gonorrhea it, that will melt much of your anxiety away. There are not enough words on the page to tell you what I have been through, and that really doesn't matter. What does matter is that playing with others on stage has changed my life. From what I read, you have played with others and still deal with extreme anxiety. That is a very hard thing to deal with. I wish you the best brother. My last words are "Never Give up"...

Steve

Maybe one of these days I'll man up for a BGU event. I haven't given up, but I am taking time to regroup. My current mindset is I need to improve certain aspects of my ability to gain confidence (like memorizing more songs), and this will hopefully allow me to finally overcome my anxiety issues. Anyway, that's the most recent plan of attack. Thanks for the encouragement!
 
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