Paleo
Student Of The Blues
So after lunch last Friday I start to develop a pretty good case of what I thought was heartburn. Four Alka-Seltzer and some Rolaids don’t help, so I drive myself over to the grocery store, work my way through the chaos and pick up some Pepto and Gas-X. People are also stockpiling antacids?
Pepto doesn’t help. Gas-X does for about an hour. Pain comes back with a vengeance.
About 7:30 I drive myself to an Emergency One, hoping to avoid a trip to the hospital.
Doctor can’t do anything. Sends me to the hospital.
Still doubled over in the worse pain I’ve ever experienced, I drive my self to the hospital.
Waiting room looks like a dungeon. There's nobody there but the receptionist. She points me to registration.
Sit down with the nurse at registration. She’s kinda rude. I know she’s had a long day.
But after watching me rocking back and forth in the chair and hardly being able to talk, she starts to show a little empathy.
I’m finally gonna vomit. She whips out one of those collapsable blue bags I’ve never seen before, but I figure it out pretty quick.
Without waiting for a wheelchair she takes me by the hand and we run across the hall into the Emergency Room. I’m sweating like crazy and kind of delirious. They get me onto a bed. Doctor comes in and I explain my journey. He says he’ll get everything rolling and he’ll get me something for the pain.
Soon as he walks out, I burp. The pain is totally gone.
They do an EKG, X-ray, Ultrasound, blood work and CAT Scan.
All normal. Diagnosis? Gas.
Discharged at 12:15 A. M.
Nope. Not the end.
Next morning I awake with a fever. Wasn’t gas.
In bed all day Saturday and most of Sunday.
In and out of delirium.
Counting the same couple of Albert King licks over and over in my head.
Monday I attempt to follow-up with my Primary Care Physician. Their entire building is locked down for 6 weeks. One of the Doctors there contracted the virus. My Neurologist's office calls and cancels next week's appointment. Rescheduled 8 weeks from now.
Today, Tuesday, I get a follow-up call from the Doctor at the Emergency One that sent me to the hospital. Says he had another patient come in after me with severe abdominal pain and fever. Tells me it was a viral infection. Gives me the usual advice about resting and letting it continue to resolve.
I tell him everything they did at the hospital. He was particularly interested to hear they did the Ultrasound.
I thanked him for following up with me.
He called back 20 minutes later to tell me he viewed the Ultrasound.
And that I only have one kidney.
What the F**K?
Pepto doesn’t help. Gas-X does for about an hour. Pain comes back with a vengeance.
About 7:30 I drive myself to an Emergency One, hoping to avoid a trip to the hospital.
Doctor can’t do anything. Sends me to the hospital.
Still doubled over in the worse pain I’ve ever experienced, I drive my self to the hospital.
Waiting room looks like a dungeon. There's nobody there but the receptionist. She points me to registration.
Sit down with the nurse at registration. She’s kinda rude. I know she’s had a long day.
But after watching me rocking back and forth in the chair and hardly being able to talk, she starts to show a little empathy.
I’m finally gonna vomit. She whips out one of those collapsable blue bags I’ve never seen before, but I figure it out pretty quick.
Without waiting for a wheelchair she takes me by the hand and we run across the hall into the Emergency Room. I’m sweating like crazy and kind of delirious. They get me onto a bed. Doctor comes in and I explain my journey. He says he’ll get everything rolling and he’ll get me something for the pain.
Soon as he walks out, I burp. The pain is totally gone.
They do an EKG, X-ray, Ultrasound, blood work and CAT Scan.
All normal. Diagnosis? Gas.
Discharged at 12:15 A. M.
Nope. Not the end.
Next morning I awake with a fever. Wasn’t gas.
In bed all day Saturday and most of Sunday.
In and out of delirium.
Counting the same couple of Albert King licks over and over in my head.
Monday I attempt to follow-up with my Primary Care Physician. Their entire building is locked down for 6 weeks. One of the Doctors there contracted the virus. My Neurologist's office calls and cancels next week's appointment. Rescheduled 8 weeks from now.
Today, Tuesday, I get a follow-up call from the Doctor at the Emergency One that sent me to the hospital. Says he had another patient come in after me with severe abdominal pain and fever. Tells me it was a viral infection. Gives me the usual advice about resting and letting it continue to resolve.
I tell him everything they did at the hospital. He was particularly interested to hear they did the Ultrasound.
I thanked him for following up with me.
He called back 20 minutes later to tell me he viewed the Ultrasound.
And that I only have one kidney.
What the F**K?
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