Looking Back (new one)

Discussion in 'Song/Lyric Writing' started by sdbrit68, Nov 8, 2020.

  1. sdbrit68

    sdbrit68 Student Of The Blues

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    Okay, I got this idea to start practicing in a normal bedroom with just an I-phone and no electronic toys. Funny thing, no matter how soft I play the guitar, it's the one thing the phone picks up loud. I specifically wrote this one to practice using an accent on the bass line repeatedly (and I left in the errors), and I figured I am so ingrained in other things and I took everyone's suggestion to work on playing my acoustic softer and not like a Sex Pistols les Paul.
    And as I still hate doing vocals with a passion, I have been forcing myself to do what I hate........................so, is this one a one to keep writing and working on, or a tosser ?

    Looking Back

    When my daddy was a young man
    he worked hard for what he owned
    Tough on the kids till the day we're grown

    Sent him off to fight in a foreign land
    Did what he had to do in Vietnam

    Momma would cook and clean almost every day
    still had a 9 to 5, there were bills to pay
    momma would do her best not to be unkind
    every now and then we would cross that line

    CHORUS
    sometimes you gotta stand and take the fight
    do what you have to do to do whats right
    looking in the mirror see where you stand
    in the end you answer to one man

    Now I'm all grown I got kids of my own
    blink of an eye I looked and they were grown
    thinking about all the things I've seen
    I never really care what could have been

    CHORUS

    Gonna live forever thats the biggest lie
    you cant outrun a man called father time
    I wouldnt change a thing baby if I could
    theres a few things I probably should


     
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  2. sdbrit68

    sdbrit68 Student Of The Blues

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    and an old one I have been working on improving, especially playing softer

     
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  3. sloslunas

    sloslunas NM Blues

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    I love the lyrics Mark. I could add a few, but you done good as it were...

    Steve
     
  4. sdbrit68

    sdbrit68 Student Of The Blues

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    feel free, I use G, Cass9, D................but hey give it a shot, be fun
     
  5. CaptainMoto

    CaptainMoto Blues Voyager

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    Nice work.
    I like the message in the lyrics.
    (y)
    I'd make one suggestion..........
    Add a short bridge section in there someplace to take the listener on a little side trip before returning to the main road.
     
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  6. CaptainMoto

    CaptainMoto Blues Voyager

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    Hey,
    I think I've heard that one someplace before.
    :sneaky:

    Sounding good.
    I think your singing has improved quite a bit from the first time I heard it.

    I think it may have something to do with your hair being longer:ROFLMAO:
     
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  7. sdbrit68

    sdbrit68 Student Of The Blues

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    good idea.........eventually a buddy of mine will play acoustic and I will add the electric over it, thinking this one calls for the tele for some reason

    And my boy corey will sing it, but this is how I start writing everything, been learning a lot from you
     
  8. sdbrit68

    sdbrit68 Student Of The Blues

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    funny thing, I never met my real father, about two years ago I made contact with some relatives in england, seem I have three brothers there. One asked me to at least speak to my father, I did it for them. Other than being white grey, we have the same hair. He has a full head of it into his 60's.
     
  9. CaptainMoto

    CaptainMoto Blues Voyager

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    Don't look to me....I'm just struggling along like the rest of us.
     
    #9 CaptainMoto, Nov 8, 2020
    Last edited: Nov 8, 2020
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  10. CaptainMoto

    CaptainMoto Blues Voyager

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    My father used to tell people:
    "it's hard to have good looks, brains and hair all on the same head........I'm getting rid of the one that's hardest to take care of"

    I can't claim good looks or brains but, I'm shedding the hair to make some room just incase. :sneaky:
     
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  11. CaptainMoto

    CaptainMoto Blues Voyager

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    I'm thinking the bridge should be a little lyrical piece that adds some interest.
     
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  12. BigMike

    BigMike Blues Oldie

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    Foundations of a good song there. So your brothers in England are the reason behind your 3 lions sweater?
     
  13. sdbrit68

    sdbrit68 Student Of The Blues

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    well, I am actually English, became an American Citizen at 14. AS I tell everyone, America is my country, its the one I served in the military for. England is my heritage and where I was born. AS is proper, I sometimes fly both flags, but the stars and stripes is always on top
     
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  14. sdbrit68

    sdbrit68 Student Of The Blues

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    This one is a touch of a joke, stole it from Austin Forman, because it cracked me up royally...............by the way, totally

    NSFW.........no do not play at work

     
  15. sdbrit68

    sdbrit68 Student Of The Blues

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    This is amazing, one of the first songs I wrote with the guys, keep in mind I posted this in 2018.......................just suddenly got flagged for age restriction on youtube. I mean, two years and suddenly its an issue. Considering what I see on Instagram and youtube from the kartrashians and rap artists, this is probably the most mild thing out there.
    I mean personally, I think tis one of the better songs I have written. I only have had one complaint and it was someone who is hyper religous and took offense at the title.
    Even though I explained the song is about a girl who plays with mens emotions, didnt make a difference

     
  16. CaptainMoto

    CaptainMoto Blues Voyager

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    I remember that one, love the riff.
    When I filed my complaint I on age restriction, I was talking about old men, not young children.
    :ROFLMAO:
     
  17. sdbrit68

    sdbrit68 Student Of The Blues

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    Its like really ?

    Have they actually looked at some of the stuff these "influencers" place on social media. I am guessing someone clicked complain so they just knee jerk reaction to it without looking
     
  18. blackcoffeeblues

    blackcoffeeblues Student Of The Blues

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    I like all the above---I really like the lyrics on "Looking Back"---they are oh so true...:thumbup::thumbup::thumbup:
     
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  19. sdbrit68

    sdbrit68 Student Of The Blues

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    well, for once, I won


    Dear Mark Hermanson,
    Thank you for submitting your video appeal to YouTube. After further review, we have removed the age restriction on your video.

    hands of the devil

    For more information please visit the YouTube Help Center.
     
  20. sloslunas

    sloslunas NM Blues

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    Mark- I think you did a very good job on that song. My honest opinion is that you really need to lighten up on your strumming. It would come out so much better. That is my opinion only...

    Steve
     
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