Let's pile on United Airlines....shall we?

tommytubetone

tommytubetone

Great Lakes
New United Airlines Mottos

“Drag and Drop”

“We put the hospital in hospitality”

“Board as a doctor, leave as a patient”

“Our prices can’t be beaten, but our passengers can”

“We have First Class, Business Class and No Class”

“Not enough seating, prepare for a beating”

“We treat you like we treat your luggage”

“We beat the customer. Not the competition”

“And you thought leg room was an issue”

“Where voluntary is mandatory”

“Fight or flight. We decide”

“Now offering one free carry off”

“Beating random customers since 2017”

“If our staff needs a seat, we’ll drag you out by your feet”

“A bloody good airline”
 
kestrou

kestrou

Blooze Noobie
We’re United and we’ve perfected Vietnamese take-out.

Every time a customer’s bell is rung, a United agent gets his wings.

Just imagine how we treat your luggage.

Good news: We’re serving free meals again. Bad news: It’s a knuckle sandwich.

You’re now free to limp around the cabin.
 
Silicon Valley Tom

Silicon Valley Tom

It makes me happpy to play The Blues!

In-Flight Meal Options Now Include Chinese Takeout.

We beat the competition, one passenger at a time.

Fight or Flight? Let us surprise you!

Hospitalization plan now available, with or without dental coverage.

A few years ago they were showing United Employees at SFO in the baggage handling department taking each piece of luggage, raising it overhead, and smashing it on the ground. United did nothing about it. Now they have advanced to doing similar things to passengers. But who cares? All that they want is your money. :(

I can see it now. Your plane is at 30,000 feet and the stewardess realizes that they are one meal short. So a few Air Marshalls get up, the stewardess opens the door and you are thrown out. Problem resolved!

Passengers who do not obey will be sent to Guantanamo Bay, never to be seen again. The airlines have the authority to do whatever they please. After all, it is in the name of national security, and we cannot allow passengers to disrupt the authority of the airlines.

Tom
 
PapaBear

PapaBear

Guit Fiddlier
Silicon Valley Tom said:
In-Flight Meal Options Now Include Chinese Takeout.

We beat the competition, one passenger at a time.

Fight or Flight? Let us surprise you!

Hospitalization plan now available, with or without dental coverage.

A few years ago they were showing United Employees at SFO in the baggage handling department taking each piece of luggage, raising it overhead, and smashing it on the ground. United did nothing about it. Now they have advanced to doing similar things to passengers. But who cares? All that they want is your money. :(

I can see it now. Your plane is at 30,000 feet and the stewardess realizes that they are one meal short. So a few Air Marshalls get up, the stewardess opens the door and you are thrown out. Problem resolved!

Passengers who do not obey will be sent to Guantanamo Bay, never to be seen again. The airlines have the authority to do whatever they please. After all, it is in the name of national security, and we cannot allow passengers to disrupt the authority of the airlines.

Tom
Click to expand...

Not to steal your thunder Tom, but the railroad bulls had the same authority
 
Silicon Valley Tom

Silicon Valley Tom

It makes me happpy to play The Blues!
PapaBear said:
Not to steal your thunder Tom, but the railroad bulls had the same authority
Click to expand...
Looking at "railroad bulls", I see that they killed 6500 men in one year. Your comment reminded me of the movie "Emperor of The North", with Lee Marvin and Ernest Borgnine. Borgnine was a railroad conductor. So I guess that today, even though airline passengers pay for a ticket, they are to be treated as hobos? Times change and all that.

Airline employees should be allowed to carry guns and shoot any passenger they please. That would stimulate the industry. People would still fly, thinking, "I would never be shot"! :(

I truly think that there is something wrong with society. Human dignity is a thing of the past. :cry:

Tom
 
CaptainMoto

CaptainMoto

Blues Voyager
Well, here's the chance for United to learn something from rabbits.
We all know that rabbits like to screw each other a lot.
United likes to @#!% but it's always everyone else.
 
CaptainMoto

CaptainMoto

Blues Voyager
So,
They are completely tone def.
Just when you thought your legroom in economy class couldn't get tighter.
American Airlines (AAL) is planning to decrease the front-to-back space between some of its economy class seats by another two inches.
 
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